Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
