RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
