Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
