The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
