this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
