What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Less talking, more tequila
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
