You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
