im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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