im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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