The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
