mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
