This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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