i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
