We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Randomize
