you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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