Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
