dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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