he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
