He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
