how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize