I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
