Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
