barbara walters just said penis...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
