She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
