I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
