Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
