That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
