fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
