my vag is so smooth its legendary
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
