I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Come on in and take your pants off
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
