You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
