I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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