i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
