You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My feet surprised me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
