Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
