she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
