Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
