Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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