i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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