thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
