She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
