My first STD was from a foam party
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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