Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
