She is in my trunk
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
