Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
