He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We are two peas in an std pod
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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