I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
