Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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