im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
