i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
