angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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