We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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