remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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