Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
