I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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