I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Such a big mess for such a small penis
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
