Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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