What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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