I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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