i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
