We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
