So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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