They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
