haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
