so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
