I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
