K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It's Friday. Sex?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
