Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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