I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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