i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So squirting runs in the family.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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